World of Ong

Once again, I must play a game of catch up. So much has been happening lately, I haven't had time to let all you folks know what has been going on. So, I will try my best to give you the run-down.

Diver Down!

Yes, the past few months I have been quite the avid diver - diving every weekend and as much as possible. I have enrolled in the Technical Deep Diving Course coupled along with my Rescue Diver course - I think. There is too much reading and studying I must complete before December. December you ask? What's so important about December? Well, I finally put money down for the trip to Micronesia Truk Lagoon. Yes, I am halfway there. Saw-weet!

I also purchased a new underwater camera which you can see the photos and videos on the side. I have been exploring the Washington Coast and inlets where I saw my very first Pacific Northern Giant Octopus, Wolf eel and tons of sea life. Very cool! Also, playing with the new gear I will be using in December. I just hit a whole new level with diving.My goal now is to hit 100 dives within the year. I am a few months shy of my goal, but I will persist. I now have a reliable dive buddy, I have the gear, and I get free air. It's all good.

The Bi-Annual Whistler Trip - Telus Festival 2008

And then there was our 5th trip to the Telus Festival. Oh what another adventure my friends. The skiing was epic! The snow - epic! The drinking - epic!

70+ F degrees and the mountain had tons of snow. My face is still crispy, flaky and red from the rays. I am feeling great! As usual all I can give you are little teasers of the escapades my comrade and I went through:

The three day excursion consisted of 3 bomb explosions in the night that rattled the whole building, a shattered glass lobby door, coconuts, a very large knife, 2 foot chocolate bar, booze, Ron Jeremy, beer, mass blood loss, vomit, a disappearing-re-appearing fire extinguisher that mysteriously shows up, waking up with bloody hands, a door battle with teeny-bopper pot heads, more booze, naked men sliding on ice, a ride on a Bic razor, smoky bacon cheese, methane gas, tons of food, a hotel room with an unintentional reenactment of a scene from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, sexy women, Fondue, swag, yellow snow, broken legs, and a maid named Steve. Fag.

All I can say it was once again another memorable trip.

More to come...

There will be many more adventures this year, it will be the death of credit cards, but there will be more adventures - no matter how inane they may be.

Until then, keep your head up, smile, enjoy life and don't let the recession bring you down. As Mr. Rourke said, "Smiles everyone, smiles. Welcome to Fantasy Island!" But this ain't fantasy.

# posted by Juanito the Bandito @ 11:14 PM 1 comments

…And not necessarily in that order.

Well I have done it! During the Winter Holiday season I participated for the first time, EVER, in my family's traditional apple pie contest. I WON! Notice the fancy trophy.

Let me give you a little background on this whole ordeal. I heard of the news in August that I would be taking the place of my Dad. So, never baked in my life I set on a new journey. 4 Weeks of research, cross-referencing recipes, talking with local bakers and the Pike Place Market produce stand guys; I finally came with a personal recipe.

In order to compete with my fellow family members I had a lot of catching up to do since this competition has been going on since 1989. 19 Years. Wow. So I set a goal of a pie a month until the competition. September, October, November, December. 4 Pies. When questioned about my newly found pie making skills, I just replied, "I must become one with the pie." I must add that during this, I shown off some pictures to the competitors. And that's when the gauntlets were thrown down. Let the competition begin.

All pies I took to my work place and had our Quality Assurance team test them. 14 people tested, wrote up bugs and I corrected. It was a feat. Finally mastering my technique or little of what was there.

December competition finally comes around and let the smack talking begin. Oh it was all there - name slinging, evil stares and even sabotage. But I prevailed - winning over the hearts of the 6 judge panel and surviving a really drunken night. I now have bragging rights and the beloved trophy for one whole year. Hooray for me!

That's only part of the story. Part, you say? Yes, this was the Holiday season and I have more to share - Bleeding fingers, Rampant Punk Rockers, Rock Stars, a hazy "wa-wa" night. Oh yes my friends, much more.

So let's try to fill the gaps. Prior to my trip back to Arizona, I got to squeeze in a day of diving with a new Dive buddy. Went out to Edmonds Underwater Park and swam in the gnarliest of swells. The currents were outrageous, the swim tiring, but the adventure high. Here we saw a 4 foot long Lingcod (picture included - that bucket is actually one of those huge 5 gallon drums), someone threw a perfectly good Bayliner Boat away, and there were some scary moments. I was swimming next to this sunken Tugboat, where the along the hull was a huge rusted rip going down the length of the ship. Swimming happily along, all of a sudden the top half of the ship comes falling 4 feet down. I freak and scatter to the side trying to miss half of this ship, but in reality it was just the underwater current lifting and dropping the top half between 4 and 10 feet. I sucked in a good 1000 lbs of air at that moment. It was a good trip all in all. Cold and good. But what is always best is the beer afterwards.

Now let's fast forward to the Holidays. I came down with a really nasty cold during the whole trip. The plane was uneventful, just me trying to drink my cold away. Almost worked. But then again, I kept a constant drunk the whole time I was down there. (Middle of February and I still feel it.)

I stayed with my cousin this round, since my parent place was taken by my brothers family. But I was lucky. They had the Rock Star Wii going on. In order to beat my nephews, I just HAD to practice. I beat the game on easy and my fingers were bruised, bleeding and I had the grin the size of Texas. I was ready to Kick Ass! And I did. Now you know its going to be a crazy Holidays when you don't get to bed until 4 am and then your cousin's husband wakes you up at 7am holding a cold beer to your head. That was pretty much my holiday. Deep fried turkey, tons of other foods and apple pie.

During my stay in Phoenix I received an email from a long lost friend of mine claiming there is a Punk Rock Reunion of my youth. It has been 20 years since I've seen these people. My have we all changed. It was a blast re-connecting with everyone again. Sad thing though is this is only a fraction of our group. The rest is either dead or spread out across the country. Maybe next time.

Then my buddy and I head out on the town. He took the liberty of driving and presenting me with items of the past. Re-enacting a particular night that happened back in the 80's, but this time around, I was the victim instead of him. It was payback. I had a helluva time that night. (Thanks man if you are reading this!)

I also had some family time as well of course. My mother and childhood friend went out for some German beers, then after while my mom and his wife went shopping, we would just crack jokes and snicker 10 feet behind them. I felt all giddy like a school girl.

Then of course my Uncle takes me out. We end up at the local Biker/Country Dive bar. The door you see to the right is the actual bar. He does this whenever I get 15 minutes of downtime from all the rest of the family. It was all good.

Finally I come back home to Seattle. A nice few weeks to detoxify and I squeeze in another dive. This time, with the same buddy as last, head to Alki Beach at Cove 2. We drop down to 107 feet in 45F degree water. We find Buddha tucked away in the ibeams. My buddy motions to head up since he is feeling Nitrogen Narcosis kick in and we swim back to shallower depths. It was actually really fun, since I finally had a chance to relax and just explore all the nooks and crannies.

Now it is February, and I am thoroughly relaxed. I just got my SCUBA gear back from its annual servicing and ready to go again. The last few days I have scrounging for statements for my taxes and now I am done. Hooray!

Oh almost forgot, 2 weeks ago I had another one of Jon's Crazy Ass Nights. Somehow, after work, I decided to go to a local bar - Free Drinks! And at some fuzzy point in time I end up at some Private club. It all gets fuzzy doesn't it? Anyhoo, luckily I catch the midnight bus home and cower the rest of the week. I have to be vague on this since it was kind of a splotchy night.

I will leave you with that. As usual, take life by the pigtails and donkey punch the hell out of if! Or maybe a "One Eyed Pirate", you decide. Enjoy!

# posted by Juanito the Bandito @ 11:03 PM 1 comments

Eeesh! Wow it has been a while. Well my friends, I have a lot to for you! It's been 4 months since my last entry…. And where do I begin?

August was fairly tame; I can barely remember it now so let's move onto October. Ah yes, as was last year, this is the start of the 3 months of hell. Holidays, parties, yada, yada, etc., etc… you get the picture.

In the beginning, I took on a new challenge. I decided to participate in one of those beer drinking clubs. So, in 3 weeks I drank 40 beers; thus, becoming a proud member of the Beer Hunters Club. So, if you are ever in the neighborhood of the Duchess Bar and Grill, somewhere on a bronze plaque on the wall is my name - for eternity. HA! Also, I got a new white baseball cap that says I am in. I guess its sort of like the golden jacket of golf - but this is to beer.

Halloween was a blast. Sort of a last minute party and costume deal. The kind of partying where I didn't get home until the next day only wearing pantyhose on my head, lipstick still smudged across my face, in man knickers and a lacy shirt. Along with the realization that all of my belongings and personal effects where scattered around King County Washington. Car in Capitol Hill, wallet in Greenwood, car keys in Ballard, me in University District, and my integrity - well, not on this planet. After a 4 hour scavenger hunt - I finally become whole.

Early November, I participated in a new startup scuba group. This was a fun time, 5 of us headed out to Alki Beach in Seattle in search for an overturned tugboat. My navigation skills were a little rusty and we missed it by 5 degrees. But I got to see a lot of dead things, such as a dead harbor seal and a bunch of dead octopus. Plus, I made a bunch of new diving buddies which rocks! (pics are on the upper right)

A week later, I FINALLY got to head out for a vacation. 3 countries in 2 weeks. Not too shabby.

First stop, Puerto Vallarta. Waking up at 4am getting a ride to the airport and leaving at 6am. 4 Vodka 7's already in my gullet. Flight was delayed by a dog. Yes a dog. Now there were 2 things I can blame on a dog. Met some really wonderful people on the plane - in fact so wonderful, we drank the plane dry of all the vodka. It was a great flight. You can see how fun it was in the picture.

Puerto Vallarta was a blast except for all the usual family turmoil. Did a little zip lining in the Jungle Canopy, a little scuba diving, a little beach time and relaxing on the beach. Even was there during the Mexican Independence day. Lots of margaritas, lotion and sweat. Personally, I will never head back there - at least at the place I was staying. It was pretty much the 51st state of America. Obese, oiled up white tourists running around everywhere! Just could not get into it. Only Mexicans I saw where waiting on us - I can get that in Arizona, thank you. Although, there was Mariana the Canopy tour guide I fell in love with instantly. Oh, and Manuel! Our waiter… he kept the margaritas pouring. He waited on me for 6 days straight. With all the crazy tips I gave him, I could of bought himself a nice 72" plasma screen.

Met some really wonderful people while scuba diving. Although visibility below was only at 10 - 20 feet, it was fun nonetheless - with all the underwater thermal currents it was really interesting from going from hot ocean water to cold. Saw a sea turtle, lobster, Green Moray Eel, and a variation of puffer fish. The flow and ebb was crazy considering we were only at 25-40 feet deep.

End of Vallarta and I then proceed to the airport to buy 2 bottles of tequila, 2 cartons of cigarettes - sit down at an airport bar and drink a lot of margaritas, smoking cigarettes and watching Mexican T.V. with 30 Pesos to my name.

Finally arrive in Seattle, only to head to my bedroom, unpack my summer luggage and re-pack with the ski gear, to wake up at 6am and head to Whistler Canada for the opening ski season.

Whistler was another drunken haze as usual. Snow wasn't as epic as last year, but it was nice snow. It reminded me of Rocky Mountain skiing - sun was out, hard pack with a little slush on top. It brought back memories. Once again, I wont expand too much on this trip because - What happens in Whistler will stay there.

Now I sit in my library in Seattle, writing this to you in detox. Scuba gear is finally washed up, dives are logged, ski gear put away, clothes washed and drinking a nice beer. Only 3 more weeks till I head out again for the Christmas holidays to Phoenix. Also, I will see if I can get some more local dives in within the 3 weeks here, but first I have to change my scuba rig to fit my dry-suit and my tanks.

Until next time mi amigos, la vida viva y tiene diversion!

# posted by Juanito the Bandito @ 6:42 PM 0 comments

Ha ha! I finally got my butt out of the house for some good clean sweaty fun. I decided to re-experience the Spider Meadow / Spider Gap hike. This time though, instead of stopping at the Meadow - I went all the way up. Almost even to Lyman Lake. To top this all off, I did it solo. Yes, solo. You heard me.

So, after a brief planning during the prior week, I grabbed some hearty goodness freeze-dried food, streamlined my pack and headed out. Leaving the house around 9am, a 2 hour road trip to the forest service road, another hour of craggy dirty roads I finally meet my 3,500 foot elevation Phelps Creek trailhead.

Noon, I check the logbook to see who has made it in so far - 22 people. Shit. I might not have a camping spot, so, I decide to speed hike. After 2 hours pass, 5 miles in and passing 4 large groups of people I make it to the Meadow. After searching for a spot in the Meadow, everything is taken and I head up in full gear to the Gap. Only to see 2 more groups ahead of me. Dammit.

Luckily they are stopped at the Phelps creek crossing. All of them are on the side of the creek, removing shoes to make the journey through the waist high water. I say screw it and jump right in. As I cross, I hear one of the folks, "Ah yes, the ol' boot method!", three miles up the side of the mountain and another 3000 foot climb, I start to fade. And just now I am trying to find the closest thing to a campsite. Luckily, no one is around and I grab it. Not to mention the soggy foot that I had from the little dip that I took back in the crossing.

I set up camp, replenish my water source, set my bear wires and cook some excellent gaseous beef stroganoff with a chocolate mousse for dessert. Then crash hard. Wake up a few hours later, to explore and then to battle the mosquitoes. Luckily, my ultra toxic and concentrated Jungle Juice deterred them mostly, but those little bastards ended up all on my shirt. I still have a line of bites across my forehead where the bandana stopped and the skin began.

During the night, I heard a few raindrops. Not too shabby. Wake up at 7am, and wander around in a circle for a little bit trying to dodge all the skeeters. I decide to blow off breakfast and try to beat the mad rush of cars at the trailhead. As I am breaking down camp, STORM CLOUD!!! I get beaten down with water. Quickly donning my rain gear, I gather my gear, jam my tent into its stuff sack (I think I packed along 5 pounds of mud as well), threw on my soggy socks from the day before knowing that I will have to cross that creek again. Throw my pack on my back and head back down the mountain.

Arriving at the creek, I replenish my water supply again and cross the creek, this time only plunging only one side of my body into the creek instead of the lower half of me. Not too bad.Cruising through the Meadow I decide now is the time to snap a few pictures and keep on trucking out. 3 hours later from camp, I finally arrive back to my car.

It was a great trip. One thing I found that I like is that when you get to the top of the mountain, and you pull out that first cigarette - Heaven. Knowing you have accomplished something and you can relax with that nice nicotine buzz. It's Marlboro Country.

Now, I am in the middle of the decontamination process. And yes, I did pack out a pint of mud. At least according to what I swept up on my balcony. Not to mention, my chocolate mousse dribbled out of my garbage bag and into the bottom of my pack. Ick. Thats going to be fun to clean.

# posted by Juanito the Bandito @ 1:59 PM 0 comments

"But this one goes to eleven..." I know, so I lied to tie you in. This is actually my Top Eleven Musical Muses. I just couldnt leave anyone out. So here they are, not in any particular order, but these 11 ladies I have been listening to a lot lately. So last night, I thought I would try something and actually share them with you.

Imogen Heap (Frou Frou) I give you Imogen Heap. A British electronica artist. Lately I have been hooked on her and have been listening quite a bit to her. I give you two videos, 1) when she went solo and 2)with her older band Frou Frou. This music usually is my soundtrack while I run the 6 miles every day. Keeps the blood pumping and yet her voice is so soothing.
Angie Hart (Frente!) Ah yes! The cute Aussie from the 90's band Frente! Listening to her just makes me feel really really happy. Especially when the headphones are on and walking down a small neighborhood. She usually just brings a smile to my face.
Liz Phair And then there was Liz. The original psychosematic sister from Chicago. I dont even know where to begin with this one. To start, there was a little history with her and I. All I can say is she is a great travel companion on the iPod. Good Traveling music and sing alongs.
Suzanne Vega The legendary New Yorker folk singer. Simply amazing voice. Watching her live, she has the studio perferct voice. Her music for some reason always reminds me of walking through Rome or Spain. Just the imagery in my head is enough to enjoy.
Carla Bruni Former Italian model turned singer. Her voice is just plain sultry. Everytime I hear here, is usually when I am drunk in the passenger seat on my way home from the bar. Its a very soothing voice. She was made popular from all the tech geeks sitting in their network pods. Oh yeah, they are all hot and heavy for her.
April March Cute little rockabilly french girl. I wish I could of found the tunes that actually inspired me to listen to her, but this video was all I could muster. Has that groovy late 60's and early 70's feel definately.
Nina Perrson (The Cardigans) Blond Swedish femme fatale. The cardigans have a great assortment of music ranging from loungey, sit back and drink a martini - or "Hell yeah, let's get this party started!" kind of mood. Either way, good tunes to drink to either for martinis or just vodka and sodas.
Sarah Harmer Canadian singer that recently turned to blue-grass. Her earlier non blue grass roots was just city livin' kind of music. Certain tones and sounds that make your innards move. They moved mine.
Kathleen Edwards Another Canadian indie-country singer. I first heard her on an airpline radio station on my way back from Atlanta, Georgia. I dont, maybe its her rough voice or just the lyrics. But I like!
Beth Orton British folk singer. Great tunes to sleep to. And maybe go hiking to. There are some electronica tunes she does that just plain gets me in a very relaxed mood before I pass out in my drunken state.
Astrud Gilberto Legendary. Thats all I can say. Except, legendary with me, with a martini in hand. Grooving around the condo silently getting sloshed. Its all good.

I know I had short descriptions on all these. All day at work I had words and descriptions flowing out of me. But as soon as I got to the computer, I lost them all. Hopefully all this music will speak for itself.

# posted by Juanito the Bandito @ 5:55 PM 0 comments

Just recently, my work sent me on a fool's errand to Denver and Detroit for a week. I had them book an early flight so that I may hang out with my college buddies that all moved there. It was one crazy roller coaster of a time for those days. There is a lot to write about so let's start.

In the middle of the working day, I head to the airport, donning the corporate outfit, 3 hours early before the plane lifts off. A $100 dollar tab at the bar later my flight finally boards. Now, you say $100 dollars? I say yes, for this has to be kick start of the bad craziness with my fellow college peers in Denver.

Two and half hours later, with 2 bottles of airline vodka shoved in my shirt pocket I finally arrive in Denver. Friends are waiting at the baggage claim. While waiting, I down those two bottles, grab the luggage, and head out.

Staggering out of the terminal and into an enormous Ford Pickup truck, my friends hand me a beer. Let the games begin. Rad Craziness.

We get to my friends house and drink until 4 in the morning, catching up on old times. Then the 8 inch kitchen knives come out. After disarming, I snatch the blade and tuck it safely away in my suit pocket. A little later, blood is pouring from my finger. Not from the blade, but from me trying to open up a beer bottle with a lighter. I realized I'm not the best at that skill. Just as the grass is green, water is wet, and I was drunk.

Next morning, dry mouth, fuzzy mind, and blood on my shirt I throw on my boots and we decide to go hiking in the Rockies. Driving up, we pass through Golden Colorado. And what is in Golden you ask? Why, the Coors Brewery of course. Now the question in our head is either free beer or hiking? Well that was an easy answer - free beer! So we blow the hiking bit and decide to do the 50 minute brewery tour hike. At the end we have our libations in time for St. Patrick's Day to arrive.

After the beers, we got lost in the Miners College and happened upon a howitzer in front of the music building. An undecided venture, we then took un-scheduled howitzer tour by ourselves by crossing the campus to find all the various cannons. After our short little history bit, we decide to finally go to the mountains. Not much at this point, just the house of a Woody Allen movie, buffalo, dinosaur tracks, and racing speedway.

On our way back to the bar we are suppose to meet for St. Patty's day, we stop off for some margaritas. All the while, the driver screaming, "Don't worry 'bout me driving, I'm from Arizona, and I'm on narcotics!" A welcoming thought. We show up at Illegal Pete's in a suburb of Colorado, where another college friend is singing on stage. After a few sets of Tenacious D covers, lots of beer, and a girl with a fantastic body (but unbelievable high squeaky voice) our St. Patty night comes to the end. Only to realize, Colorado does not serve booze in stores after midnight.

We head home to the Hippie's house, and we find a 2 year old bottle of absinthe in the back of his cupboard. 5 hours later, in a lofty kind of fuzzy, I fix the Hippie's blog fixed in my scattered brained state, everyone is passed out and we are watching the last episodes of Saddam Hussein being hung - from all angles.

Waking up at the crack of noon, we then try to please the Right wing fanatic and head to the Denver gun show. Hopping in his truck with no passenger seat, sitting on a military box full of ammo, while the hippie is in the back holding on to dear life, we head to the show. Now there was a scene. Knowing at some point in time, in that warehouse, a gun, from somebody, was being pointed directly at the hippie. It brought a smile to my face.

There are so many details I left out on this story, but I just noticed that this is quite lengthy so I will try to hurry up and finish.

All in all, they drop me off at my hotel; I go to work, then off to Detroit. Nothing there, except all I can say is that you can buy a lot of food for cheap! Now I know why Detroit is the fattest city in America.

As usual folks…. Enjoy life, and don't let the hippies bring you down.

# posted by Juanito the Bandito @ 11:06 PM 0 comments