Sunday, April 01, 2007
The TSA Took Away My Nitro Glycerin!
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Just recently, my work sent me on a fool's errand to Denver and Detroit for a week. I had them book an early flight so that I may hang out with my college buddies that all moved there. It was one crazy roller coaster of a time for those days. There is a lot to write about so let's start.
In the middle of the working day, I head to the airport, donning the corporate outfit, 3 hours early before the plane lifts off. A $100 dollar tab at the bar later my flight finally boards. Now, you say $100 dollars? I say yes, for this has to be kick start of the bad craziness with my fellow college peers in Denver.
Two and half hours later, with 2 bottles of airline vodka shoved in my shirt pocket I finally arrive in Denver. Friends are waiting at the baggage claim. While waiting, I down those two bottles, grab the luggage, and head out.
Staggering out of the terminal and into an enormous Ford Pickup truck, my friends hand me a beer. Let the games begin. Rad Craziness.
We get to my friends house and drink until 4 in the morning, catching up on old times. Then the 8 inch kitchen knives come out. After disarming, I snatch the blade and tuck it safely away in my suit pocket. A little later, blood is pouring from my finger. Not from the blade, but from me trying to open up a beer bottle with a lighter. I realized I'm not the best at that skill. Just as the grass is green, water is wet, and I was drunk.
Next morning, dry mouth, fuzzy mind, and blood on my shirt I throw on my boots and we decide to go hiking in the Rockies. Driving up, we pass through Golden Colorado. And what is in Golden you ask? Why, the Coors Brewery of course. Now the question in our head is either free beer or hiking? Well that was an easy answer - free beer! So we blow the hiking bit and decide to do the 50 minute brewery tour hike. At the end we have our libations in time for St. Patrick's Day to arrive.
After the beers, we got lost in the Miners College and happened upon a howitzer in front of the music building. An undecided venture, we then took un-scheduled howitzer tour by ourselves by crossing the campus to find all the various cannons. After our short little history bit, we decide to finally go to the mountains. Not much at this point, just the house of a Woody Allen movie, buffalo, dinosaur tracks, and racing speedway.
On our way back to the bar we are suppose to meet for St. Patty's day, we stop off for some margaritas. All the while, the driver screaming, "Don't worry 'bout me driving, I'm from Arizona, and I'm on narcotics!" A welcoming thought. We show up at Illegal Pete's in a suburb of Colorado, where another college friend is singing on stage. After a few sets of Tenacious D covers, lots of beer, and a girl with a fantastic body (but unbelievable high squeaky voice) our St. Patty night comes to the end. Only to realize, Colorado does not serve booze in stores after midnight.
We head home to the Hippie's house, and we find a 2 year old bottle of absinthe in the back of his cupboard. 5 hours later, in a lofty kind of fuzzy, I fix the Hippie's blog fixed in my scattered brained state, everyone is passed out and we are watching the last episodes of Saddam Hussein being hung - from all angles.
Waking up at the crack of noon, we then try to please the Right wing fanatic and head to the Denver gun show. Hopping in his truck with no passenger seat, sitting on a military box full of ammo, while the hippie is in the back holding on to dear life, we head to the show. Now there was a scene. Knowing at some point in time, in that warehouse, a gun, from somebody, was being pointed directly at the hippie. It brought a smile to my face.
There are so many details I left out on this story, but I just noticed that this is quite lengthy so I will try to hurry up and finish.
All in all, they drop me off at my hotel; I go to work, then off to Detroit. Nothing there, except all I can say is that you can buy a lot of food for cheap! Now I know why Detroit is the fattest city in America.
As usual folks…. Enjoy life, and don't let the hippies bring you down.
